28. October 2011 10:24
Teaching life skills to the undead: Logistical considerations
What's the best way to attract zombies' attention? It's a question you may not have ever asked aloud. Luckily, we can all learn from Brainy's bravery during the Memphis Zombie Massacre 2011. Norfolk Southern's safety spokesbrain demonstrated the message "Look, Listen and Live."
Follow this harebrained guide when helping the undead to safely navigate traffic. Without these tips, you may find yourself feeling frustrated, even brainless. Watch and learn survival techniques for a world of fast-moving trains and slow-moving zombies:
Step 1: Look.
- Some accidents occur once the first train has passed and a second train comes through on a parallel track.
- Modern trains are quieter than ever, often with no "clackety-clack."
- Trains can move in either direction at any time.
Brainy thrilled zombies with the message: Train Your Brain.
Step 2: Listen.
- Freight trains do not travel on a predictable schedule; schedules for passenger trains change.
- The weight ratio of a train to an automobile is roughly the same as an automobile to a soda can.
As you can see, I was among the horde of fans who devoured Brainy's thoughtful concept.
Step 3: Live.
Although seemingly straightforward, zombies have a surprisingly tough time with this step. It is much more popular among members of the zombie resistance.
Read all of Brainy's railroad safety tips. View CTSI-Global's Memphis Zombie Massacre photos.
DISCUSS: What other transportation safety issues are important to you? What zombie education campaigns have worked in your community? Please share your comments.